23. April 2026

An Enema, a Pharmacy Fail, and an AI Lesson Walk Into a Bar… and Prove Why the Right Tool Matters

Today my husband walked into our bedroom stone-faced and without warning informed me that he had just gone to the store to buy me an enema.

Since he is the king of sarcasm (we’ll refer to him as Chandler*) and loathes it when I correct him (which I do on a regular basis), I calmly replied, “That’s nice dear, but I think you may be confused.” He responded, “Oh no. I’m not confused. I went to get you the ‘big size’ enema and then I realized it was the wrong one, so I had to try and return the enema and I was completely humiliated.”

For context, I’m not a big fan of needles. It’s not phobia level or anything but like most people it’s just something I’d rather do without. I was reminded that applying numbing cream in advance can help make the experience more tolerable***. I had intended to pick up some EMLA cream before going for a scheduled vaccination this week. One thing led to another, and I ran out of time to stop at the store. So I was feeling a little anxious. Chandler decided to try and be helpful and go to the store and pick it up for me. The topical anesthetic is only available BTC (behind the counter) so you need to wait in line and ask for a pharmacist to get it for you. Conveniently (or not), when he left the house we had been having an argument and Chandler was fighting the internal battle between being mad at me and wanting to do something helpful. So he wasn't exactly thinking clearly. He was also multitasking and on the phone with his business partner (who we’ll call Ross) which is a usual occurrence in our world.

Chandler walked into the pharmacy cell phone on ear and asked Ross to hang on a moment. He kindly waved to the pharmacist to get her attention and confidently asked, “Excuse me. Where can I find the enemas?” at top volume. The young gal was happy to assist but as she proceeded to the next customer, Chandler called out, “Wait! is there not an extra-strength version?”

After paying for the goods, Chandler left the store while Ross, who was listening on the phone the whole time busting a gut, chimed in to ask Chandler what the hell he was doing. Chandler explained matter-of-factly, “Melissa is getting a shot and so I’m getting her an enema to numb her arm.”

Ross (who also happens to be Chandler's good friend and is used to hearing matters that qualify as TMI) quickly informed Chandler, “That’s NOT how it’s used, man." Chandler pulled the box out of the bag and to his surprise found not one, not two, but three different illustrations on how to position your body for proper administration. It’s important to note that none of the diagrams made reference to arms. “OH S*!T” Chandler responded (pun unintended). “I was wondering why it was beside the Preparation H instead of behind the counter!”

I do not know how he summoned the courage to go back inside and ask to return the ‘en-e-ma’ for a box of ‘E-M-L-A’ cream, but needless to say, by the time he got home he was no longer reaping the benefits of feeling like the heroic husband he was trying to be. With tears of laughter streaming down my face, I thanked him for going and getting it for me and apologized in advance for the fact that I was going to have to write about this publicly while harnessing my inner Jenny Lawson**.

Important lessons were learned here, folks.

1. When the cashier asks you if you need a receipt, ALWAYS take it because you never know when might need to return an enema.
2. More importantly: just because something is powerful and widely used doesn’t mean it’s the right tool for the job. Misapplied solutions—whether in pharmacies or in AI—create more problems than they solve.
3. Choose your business partners wisely. They know more than you think.

*Chandler Bing, portrayed by the late Matthew Perry in the sitcom Friends, is widely considered the "King of Sarcasm” according to Google. We miss you Matt. Thank you for all the laughs.

**Jenny Lawson is the most hilarious mammal I have had the pleasure of being introduced to. But not actually introduced in real life. Maybe now we’ll have the opportunity to meet after all. Be sure to read her books/blog. Especially Chapter 15 of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. You're welcome.

***Disclaimer: The information in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Especially if you are considering using an enema in place of EMLA cream.